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Bullying
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What to do in a bullying situation

Reading time: 4 min

What to do if you’re an adolescent

Teenager girl and boy
  • If you feel uncomfortable with the comments or actions of someone, tell them so calmly and respectfully.
  • Try not to let their comments or behaviour affect you. The kid bullying you will probably stop doing it if they don’t get your attention.
  • Tell a friend, a teacher or your parents what is happening and how you feel. If you don’t, the problem will probably continue.
  • If it’s hard for you to explain what’s wrong, you can write a letter and give it to someone who can help you.
  • Keep away from the places the bullying usually happens and try to always have people around. Most bullying happens when no adults are near.
  • Going to school every day means you’re winning over the kids who are bullying you and you’ll have a better future.
  • Keep doing activities that you enjoy.
  • If you get messages or calls on your mobile, change the SIM card.

What to do if you’re bullying another child

A person who insults or verbally assaults another person
  • Stop and think before you say or do something that could hurt someone.
  • Remember we’re all different. Not better or worse.
  • If you feel like being mean to someone, find something else to do.
  • Tell an adult how you feel so they can help you find ways to be nicer to others.
  • If you think you have bullied someone in the past, apologise.

What to do if you see a bullying situation

A child who is separated from the group
  • Explain what’s happening to your parents, a teacher or another adult you trust. You can keep notes of what you see or hear so you can give them more details on what’s happening.
  • Tell the kid who is being bullied that you’ll help them tell their parents or teachers about it.
  • Try to include the kid being bullied; for example, sit with them at lunch or on the bus, talk to them at school, or invite them to do something.

What to do if you’re an adult

Family with father, mother and teenager

These are some of the measures adults should implement in a bullying situation:

  • Separate the kids involved.
  • Make sure everyone is safe, and if necessary, meet any immediate medical or mental health needs.
  • Model respectful behaviour when you intervene.

Avoid these common mistakes:

  • Don’t ignore the situation.
  • Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts.
  • Don’t question the children involved at the same time or in front of other kids.
  • Don’t make the kids involved apologise or patch up relations quickly.

How to support bullied children

Family with a positive tic representing acceptance of a family member's illness by the family
  • Show you want to help and listen to them to find out what’s happening.
  • Assure the child that bullying is not their fault.
  • Give advice about what to do if the bullying happens again, such as ignoring the bullying child or telling them firmly and respectfully to stop bothering them.
  • Encourage them to find new activities; this helps improve their self-esteem, gets them away from the problem and lets them make new friends.
  • Work together with the other adults involved in the case to resolve the situation.
  • Assess the need for the child to see a psychologist or other mental health service.
  • Be persistent. Bullying may not end overnight. Commit to making it stop and consistently support the bullied child.
Danger signal

Mistakes teachers and parents should avoid

  • Downplaying the importance or casting doubt on the experiences the child is telling you about.
  • Blaming them for being bullied.
  • Telling them to defend themselves physically.
  • Being annoyed if your child prefers to tell another adult about the bullying.
  • Trying to contact the parents of the bullying child.
  • Blaming the teachers - they are often the last to know about the problem.

How to deal with the bullying child

Group of people in which one is shouting at someone
  • Make sure the child knows their behaviour is a problem.
  • Listen to them to understand the reasons they may have for acting aggressively. Sometimes children bully to fit in, and they may benefit from participating in activities which let them make friends; others may have issues at home or at school and may need help from mental health professionals.
  • Apply consequences that help prevent bullying in the future.

Teachers may ask the bullying child to:

  • Moderate a class debate on how to be a good friend.
  • Write a story or a presentation about the importance of respecting others.
  • Read a book about bullying.
  • Clean up, repair, or pay for any property they damaged.
Danger signal

Mistakes to avoid

  • Peer mediation. Bullying is not a conflict between people of equal power, so making the children involved face each other may further confuse the bullied child.
  • Suspending the bullying child. Excluding the child from school for a few days may not prevent bullying.
Read more Long-term effects
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Información general de Mental Health in Children and Adolescents

Consulta toda la información relacionada con Mental Health in Children and Adolescents

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Substantiated information by:

Astrid Morer Liñan

Published: 3 October 2019
Updated: 3 October 2019

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